When getting my nose in a book

 Cured most things short of school,

 It was worth ruining my eyes

 To know I could still keep cool,

 And deal out the old right hook

 To dirty dogs twice my size.

 Later, with inch-thick specs,

 Evil was just my lark:

 Me and my cloak and fangs

 Had ripping times in the dark.

 The women I clubbed with sex!

 I broke them up like meringues.

 Don't read much now: the dude

 Who lets the girl down before

 The hero arrives, the chap

 Who's yellow and keeps the store

 Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:

 Books are a load of crap.